Anxiety, how it feels.

I suffered from severe anxiety when I was 22.  I'm not sure what triggered it, but it was possibly due to a traumatic event that had happened to me a few years prior.

It crept up on me very slowly.  I was very happy initially.  I had moved to Brisbane, meet a wonderful man (now my husband) and had a great job.  I started having the occasional anxiety attack.  Within a few weeks I was having continual anxiety attacks to the point that I could not do or  even wear certain things because it brought on even more anxiety attacks.  These were a few of the irrational behaviours I exhibited.

• I couldn't wear black
• I could ONLY listen to classical music.  If I drove anywhere with my husband who listened to popular music it was excruciating.
• I could not watch the News and most of the time I could really only tolerate watching Friends, or other very flippant sitcoms.
• When I was having an attack I got to a point where I could only get through it by singing "Don't Worry Be Happy".
• I couldn't see certain friends as their way of life (which was as simple of having fun, going out, drinking, etc - like most young people do) confronted me and caused attacks.
• I could not go to bars or nightclubs.  Again when I did I spent much of the time in extreme fear.

I kept this from everyone, even though I had a very close relationship with my parents and my husband.  I thought I was going mad.  I actually contemplated suicide in the bath one night.  I though if I just put my head underwater and stayed there this pain and fear will all be over.  It was very lucky that my husband was in the bath with me or else I am pretty sure I would have followed through.

Although it was emotional the pain was extreme and at times unbearable.  I hid it so well from my parents and husband that they had no idea until years later when I told them what I went through.  There was one person that saw through me though.  

I was quite new to my job and although I was good at my job and so far the illness hadn't effected my ability to work, most of the people that I worked with thought I was very weird and I didn't initially make many friends.  This one person though saw that I was struggling and gave me a newspaper article on anxiety.  It was life changing.  Instead of thinking I was going mad I could put a name to the problem.  I immediately started researching how to cope and now I look back and think I should have gone to the doctors straight away, however I choose to try St Johns' Wort.  For me it worked like a charm.  Within two months I was free of anxiety attacks and was back to my normal self.

There are many other treatments for anxiety and if you do suffer from it the best thing to do is go to your GP straight away.  Hopefully this story helps someone who may be going through something like this.  Don't feel embarrassed to talk to someone about it.  It helps.

Jen

www.shimi.com.au

Stress

Stress.  It is good and bad.

I thrive on a bit of stress, but then to much and my anxiety attacks kick in.  About 10 years ago I was absolutely debilitated with anxiety attacks and I never want to experience that sort of fear again, so I am very protective of my mental health.  Any tinge of an anxiety attack and I do whatever I have to do to relieve my stress.  Sometimes that is as little as putting on some great music and singing at the top of my voice.  Other times I have to go a bit more extreme and break out the anxiety vitamins and go for a good long walk.

I feel very fortunate that I have enough clarity to realise when things are not going so well for me and do what I have to do.

My better half on the other hand is the complete opposite.  He does not handle stress well, like a lot of people.  The difference between him and me though is that when he is stressed you cannot possibly bring it to his attention because he "is not stressed".  He instead wallows in his stress and does nothing to help himself, and makes life for the rest of us that bit more stressful.  On the other hand, when he is stress free (which I must say is most of the time) he has this amazing clarity about life and sees how detrimental stress is on his life and how to combat it.

What is your stress buster?

Jen and Row
www.shimi.com.au