Affairs of the Heart

It was only about 7 years ago that my husband and I had a great group of friends.  This was pre-kids and we spent most Saturday nights together at restaurants or clubs.  It was a great time in our life, but then it all ended when a couple of friends suddenly split up, one couple moved and another couple married.

Of course people move and we are still very good friends with that couple and holiday together regularly.  However we now don't see the other friends, although still friendly with most of them.

One couple split due to infidelity.  It was a very stressful time for us as this was my husbands best friend and he regularly used my husband as his alibi, unbeknown to us many times.  At times it was known to my husband though.  It made him incredibly uncomfortable and as we were all very fond of his friends wife and although he was very angry with his friend for cheating he also did not want to be the one to "break up the marriage" if he said something.  I was in the same position.  Finally the truth came out for the most part - certain truths were never told.  The couple split however no one remained friends.

Now we have a whole new group of amazing friends, but there are certain couples like ourselves that make a big effort and are always initiating catch-ups, etc and certain couple that attend these catch-ups but don't initiate them.  The sad truth is that no matter if you move or have problems in your life to maintain a close friendship you have to make an effort.  Of course there are the friends that you can go six months without talking to and pick up the phone and feel like it was just yesterday, but those are few and far between.

Jen
www.shimi.com.au

31 Year Friendship

I think it is fair to say that given Rowena and I meet at start of the school year at Kindergarten (3 years old) we have been friends for approximately 31 years now.   Although we only ever attended school together for about 3 years, we somehow managed to maintain a very close and loving friendship throughout these 31 years and have been there for each other through some very trying times and some really wonderful times.

We have even lived together, which is a sure fire way to kill any friendship.  I think we have had all of one argument in our friendship, and even that was via email (terrible medium for sorting out differences) and we ended each email with "sent with love".

We both have a strong group of friends that we can count on in a second, but our friendship is something special and enduring.  Row has been a constant support to me through various tumultuous times including three miscarriages, which most friends in my experience, find very hard to relate to and end up saying just the wrong thing.  Thank goodness for Rowena who has listened to me cry and rant and rave and have crazy ideas and always supports me.  We have gone months without contact and can get on the phone (Row and I live in different states) and it feels like we just chatted the day before.

So thanks Row for 31 years of a beautiful friendship, and I think we have at least another 50 in us.  We will be the two little old ladies with our cups of tea who after 81 years of knowing each other, still can chat non-stop.

Luv Ya

Jen
www.shimi.com.au